I've wanted to start a blog for a shockingly long time now, admiring so many of my other artistic, vocal, expressive peers posting on ones they've created, always knowing I'd adore everything that blogging is, and how much I would appreciate the therapeutic benefits it can offer; to cherish and keep up with a designated place where I can write all of my thoughts and store all of my ideas, memories, thoughts and rants; a place other than the 'notes' app in my phone. I also always knew that not everyone necessarily wants to read the novels of text messages and captions I find appropriate to share at sometimes inappropriate times with people who may not give a shit, and that it might be best to just bite the bullet and pay the monthly fee, adapt to my perfectionist habits and spend time catering to a blog of my own, where I can write as much, as often as I want.
Today is the third day of the start of a brand new year, so what a fabulous time to start that blog of mine. A fresh, clean, blank slate, following a (not entirely, but pretty profoundly) terribly, awful year. These photos here, were taken on the first day of this same brand new year, two days ago, by the ever so talented, beautiful and inspiring, Emily Savage. (ALL photo credit to her - check her out at www.emilysavage.com)
When Emily asked if I'd be interested in doing another shoot ON New Year's Day, I was so excited for the symbolic nature of a simple photo shoot with some friends and what that would do for me on the first day of a new, really important year. A bunch of seemingly self-centered photos of me, alone, where I feel confident, beautiful and strong. And that is exactly what they capture. A 22 year old, strong woman, who went through hell and back in 2017, who is now shooting solo (of course not entirely solo because now I stand strong with my best friends rather than a boyfriend), starting fresh on my own. 2018 is the start of my new life. A life post-undergrad, post-unhealthy relationships, post-trauma, post-gut wrenching decision making and chains, post-lack of freedom, and post-loss of self importance.
My new life will encompass all that I have learned, all that I have seen, experienced and worked for in 2017 and for the 4 years before, and I will be consistently reminding myself of how far I have come, and all that I've worked for. I will rediscover more of who I am and who I want to be. I want to focus on finding my true path, and following it, hungry and without regret. No looking back, no hesitation, no "what-if's" or "buts", just dream-chasing. But this time, for me. I want to remember who I am to the core, re-discover what sets my soul on fire, and despite how difficult it may be, keep moving forward. Leaving toxic people and relationships in 2017, I am determined to make 2018 the first of many selfish years, in the most positive way possible.
In 2017, I gave up so much time that I could've spent with my beautiful, supportive, loving family and friends. I lost so much time with myself, focusing all of my energy and time into one other person who drained me to the core. I will not make those same mistakes ever again. 2017 was a year of pain, risk, lessons, heartbreak, loss, patience and strength. 2018 will be the year of new beginnings, fresh starts, new people, new chances, opportunities and dreams. This year is for me, focused on self-love, self awareness, the conquering of goals, challenges and opportunities. The main thing I want this year is to be happy. As simple as that, my greatest resolution is to make sure that I frequently check in with myself to ensure that I am doing what makes me happy. And with that as a goal, I am excited, hopeful, anxious and ready to get this year started. Hopefully frequently writing here will keep me in check this year ;)
Happy New Year, everyone. Make this one yours.